Sex Before Marriage? Why Not?

Hey guys. Thanks for clicking on the link to read this blog post. I really wanted to talk about something real and be completely transparent with you because this is a serious topic of discussion. For some, it may be taboo, but in today’s world, we have to put everything out on the table. As Christians, we are held to a higher standard than those of the world, although those standards may differ across the board. Some Christians believe that sex before marriage is a sin, while some may not. These differences in opinion are the main cause for the multiple denominations in any particular religion. But I’m not going to focus on denominations. I’m going to focus on the title at hand. Is sex before marriage necessarily a bad thing? Simply put, yes. But there’s more to it than a simple yes. Let me explain. Before I start though, I do want to say that this particular post isn’t meant to shame anyone or to make you fell less than. I just felt led to share this information with those who are willing to have open minds and read about what is stated in the bible.

Okay! So there are many scriptures in the bible that speak about lust and sexual immorality. In fact, 1 Corinthians 6:18 says the following:

“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (NLT)

It goes on to state the following in the next two verses:

“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” (Verses 19-20 NLT)

We all know that Jesus died on the cross, but that wasn’t just for Christians. It was for ALL mankind. So regardless if you consider yourself a Christian or not, Jesus died for YOU and he wants us to honor his sacrifice with our bodies.

Verse 18 talks about sexual immorality and that’s anything sexual you do with your body with someone you are not married to. See, God doesn’t want us to view sex in itself as some forbidden, sinful thing. We just have to think about the context. He doesn’t want us engaging in it outside of marriage. Sexual activity gives you a special kind of connection to the person you’re doing it with and it’s a completely intimate act. God made woman so that Adam wouldn’t be alone.

“So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky…..But still there was no helper just right for him. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Genesis 2:19-20, 22, 24 (NLT)

The same way that two become one in a marriage can be applied to when two people engage in sexual activity with one another. That bond is so special and sacred and wasn’t intended to be shared with multiple people you aren’t committed to. Now, I’m human, just like you and I  was a single woman before I got married. So I know that there are urges that may overtake your body and that’s normal. Our flesh can seem extremely powerful at times, but that doesn’t make it okay to act on every urge or feeling you have. Acting impulsively will only get you into trouble. This is where praying and serious fasting comes in hand. Notice before I said the flesh seemed to be powerful. But in all actuality, it is not. We have power over our flesh and it’s sinful nature and we can most definitely put it under subjection. The only thing is, do you want to?

“Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.” Ephesians 5:3 (NLT)

“When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures..” Galatians 5:19 (NLT)

“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor- not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (NLT)

As you can see, the bible is very clear on how God truly wants us to abstain from sexual sin, well, really, from sex period, unless you’re married. And that means ALL kinds (I will not go into detail). Now let’s say you are waiting and the person you’re dating is pressuring you to go further. Well, first of all, you may want to question if their minds are in the right place. In other words, is this person only with you to “get something” from you and if so, he or she doesn’t need to be in your life. True love is worth waiting for and someone who truly loves you and God will be on one accord with you to wait until marriage.

I saw a post on Facebook that said, “Let faith be the down payment on your future.” We can connect that to marriages as well. So many times I’ve heard people justify not waiting until marriage because they didn’t want to end up with a “bad” partner in bed. First, let me say that if all you’re looking for in a marriage is a “good” partner in bed, you should really take a look at your priorities. Yes, sex is a very important part of marriage, but it isn’t the bulk of what your marriage will be. The first thing you should be looking for is someone who has a heart after God. The bible talks about being unequally yolked in 2 Corinthians 6:14. There’s no way that sin and holiness can abide in one another. And why put yourself through all that stress? Find someone who has the same holiness standards like you do. And keep in mind that if you’re the one in sin and trying to tempt someone else, that there are consequences to that.

“There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a milestone hung around your neck…” Luke 17:1-2 (NLT)

Waiting is one of the best gifts that you can give to your future wife or husband. Think about the following:

-Once chocolate is melted, you can refrigerate it or refreeze it, but it will never be exactly the same.

-Once a glass cup is dropped or cracked, it can be glued back together, but you will still see the cracks within it.

Once you lose your virginity, you can never reclaim it. You don’t get a physical do-over. Some may wonder, “Well, I’ve already had sex before, so does that mean that I will forever be in sin?” The answer is no. See, once you repent of your sins and completely give your life over to Jesus, he forgives you. And when you get baptized, it washes away all of your sins. That’s the reason he died for us. Back in the Old Testament, people would have to present a sin offering to the Lord for forgiveness, but once he died on the cross, we were able to repent in our hearts and in our actions to receive forgiveness. Now if this is the case for you, go ahead and repent. It doesn’t cost anything except your pride! But you must also remember that once you repent, you’re telling God that you won’t make the same mistakes again. So if you do have a problem with lust and sexual sin, after you repent, the goal is to remain celibate. In this way, you remain pure and holy for your future spouse.

Some people may try to remain holy and truly have a desire to do so, but as we know, sometimes people fail. I’ve failed too, plenty of times. And each time I felt sick with myself. It’s like I knew what I was doing was wrong, yet I still let my flesh take over and cloud my better judgement. When we consciously and consistently engage in sin, it is no longer a mistake. It becomes a choice and then you become a liar before God because you vowed to him that you wouldn’t keep doing the same sinful things. The first book in Corinthians told us that sexual sin is a sin against our own bodies. We should have enough self-respect to not sin against ourselves.

But one thing I want to point out is that falling into sin is not the end all, be all. Don’t let yourself get so caught up in the guilt of sinning that you can’t see yourself getting back up and on the right track. The enemy wants us to stay defeated and to give up hope of redemption, but I rebuke that sense of hopelessness in the mighty name of Jesus! He is Lord and creator of all things and most importantly, he loves us. He wants to see us succeed. He doesn’t want us drowning in guilt and shame because we always have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness. No matter how far we’ve strayed from the faith, no matter what disastrous deed we’ve done, it’s never too much for God to forgive.

Think about the story of David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11 & 12). David let his lust for another man’s wife consume him to the point of committing adultery and later having her husband killed so that they could be together. Now although there were consequences to his sin (the death of his and Bathsheba’s child), God still loved and forgave him. Although sin is sin, maybe you haven’t gone to this extreme in regard to sinning. But if God can forgive David, he can surely forgive you.

As I said before, we have control over our flesh and one of the best things we can do is recognizing our weaknesses. One way to avoid sexual sin is to not put ourselves in situations to sin. You shouldn’t be alone with the opposite sex in intimate settings, such as a bedroom, or really, any empty room. The enemy looks for any leverage we lay out for him and he will use it to his advantage. He’s waiting for us to slip up so he can take advantage of our mistakes, but Jesus has dominion and power. We can ask God to give us the wisdom we lack so that we are prepared against the attacks of the flesh and of the enemy. Remember that there can be consequences to sexual sin (pregnancy, diseases, ect.) that you may not be prepared for. My overall advice is this: pray to God for discipline and holiness. Trust in God’s timing and don’t try to rush into things because you think you’re missing out. I’d choose missing out on sin each and every time. Nothing here on this earth is worth me going to hell over. Please stay prayed up guys. God is a loving and forgiving God, but that doesn’t mean that we should take advantage of it and use it as an excuse to sin.

I hope you all enjoyed this post. Let me know your thoughts about it and what topics you’d like to hear more about. And it’s totally fine if you don’t want to post in the comments. You can head over to my contact me page and personally send me an email. Until next time! Bye!